Oh dear God, according to multiple reports received about two minutes ago on highway I-95, area mother Karen Quinn will pull this goddamn minivan over immediately, just “effing” watch her. Witnesses silently confirmed that Quinn, the owner of the vehicle and passengers in question, refuses to take any more bull from the car seat area, and will do whatever the hell it takes to make herself perfectly clear. Witnesses further reported that Quinn immediately dismissed a suggestion to seriously, cool it Mom; and proceeded instead to blast National Public Radio on full volume while maneuvering over to the rightmost lane because she’s the one controlling this car and she’ll do whatever she goddamn pleases. At press time, Quinn was seen back in the carpool lane pushing ninety, staring silently into the rear view mirror because you will learn your lesson, even if it’s the last thing she ever does.
Area Mother Will Pull this Goddamn Minivan Over, Just Watch Her
Published Friday, September 7th, 2012