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The Brown Noser

DPS Officer Asking For ID And If They Can Get A Turn On Those Bongos

Published Friday, May 3rd, 2024

In recent news, a Department of Public Safety officer was asking students for their IDs and if they can maybe get a turn on those bongos.

“We saw a swarm of DPS officers coming towards us,” said sophomore Alex Jones, rolling up his sleeping bag and enjoying his canned beans breakfast. “He just came up to us and told us we have to show proof of identification, as per University policy. We did as he asked, but then he asked if he could get a turn on the bongos. We were confused at first, but once he got bopping we realized he had a groovy rhythm like no other.”

“He’s honestly really good, I wish he could stay for longer,” sighed Jones, packing up the campfire and his guitar. “But he said that duty calls and there’s a university that needs to be saved. I didn’t even get his name.”

At press time, a university official was requesting a list of student names and if it’s okay if they maybe join the big huge sleepover on the Green.

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