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It started with a fist.
After a summer the two spent apart, Alfie Moggle '12 sauntered towards Stan Dipley '12 on the Main Green and extended his fist. Dipley's face turned solemn and he grabbed the fist with his right hand, yanking it in an arc. ""Shifting gears!"" he yelled. The handshake had begun.
Moggle and Dipley quickly dispensed with the usual culprits: the ""Hey Arnold"" Thumb Bounce, the ""Rocket Power"" Woogity, the Lateral-Five and Snap. This is when Dipley's friends on the Main Green began nagging him to go get some food.
Witnesses say the shake was pure poetry in motion. A virtuoso ""Three Stooges"" Averted Eye Poke was lent gravity by a classic slow-mo Pound Then Explode. A Hand Stack led to a Windmill Double Five and then, shockingly, into the complete choreography of the Lindsay Lohan ""Parent Trap"" shake. Moggle whipped out a can of brown body paint so the two could do the Diversity Poster. A lingering One-Finger-Almost-Touching Michelangelo made for a brief poignant moment. Dipley's friends left.
The pace then turned frenetic, with a Booty Bump cascading into a Handjive spinning into a Down-Low-Too-Slow Fakeout and a Don't-Go-There-Girlfriend Triple Snap. Dipley brought forth a Cat's Cradle string. Moggle pulled off a Got-Your-Nose. The exchange became vocal, with aggressive cries of ""Give me some skin!"" and ""Skin given"" echoing through the now-empty and darkening Main Green.
"Here's the church, here's the steeple; open the doors, and see all the people!" Moggle screamed, his face red and fingers wiggling fiercely. "Cut the pickle!" Dipley shot back. "Tickle tickle!" They paused for a contemplative Mirror Game, then slammed back into full throttle with a Muhammad Ali, Dipley jabbing at Moggle's open palms.
Professor of Psychology Alan Cooke began formal observation on the second day of the handshake, noting that this greeting ritual is unlike anything he's ever seen.
"Initially, the handshake resembled the mating dances of blue-footed boobies, red-footed boobies, John Travolta from 'Grease,' and yellow-footed boobies," Dr. Cooke observed in his notes. "Almost unheard of, considering that all four species are nearly extinct."
At press time, the handshake was in full swing, with no signs of either party tiring. Spectators have gathered around the couple and are calling out requests, with hopeful cries of "European Double-Air-Kiss!" and chants of "Chest Bump! Chest Bump!" filling the air. It remains to be seen whether Moggle or Dipley will ever actually go to class, but their jubilant reunion can only mean one thing: The semester has truly begun.
