Partly Cloudy, 64°
Yesterday, after taking a power nap and consuming a power bar, Sally Garfield ’14 power tripped while power walking to class. She reportedly power flew through the air and power landed on her face on the pavement, rendering herself power-unconscious. It was subsequently reported that she then power bled on a Power Street sidewalk for several power minutes before being power discovered. Powerful sources confirmed that a grandmother power hobbling with her power cane power noticed the body after power adjusting her glasses.
“I power dialed my phone for a ambulance, and almost power dialed the wrong number by a power mistake. Power everywhere,” affirmed the power-aging power old-person in a powerfully quiet power voice.
It was power reported that Garfield is expected to make a reasonably speedy recovery.
