Sources are reporting this week that Bucky, the family dog of eight years, was seen tactlessly begging for food at an extremely emotionally charged family dinner.

“There is no way in hell you are getting custody over my children!” yelled Sarah Smythe at her future ex-husband, Darren, while Bucky rudely pawed her leg with a dumb grin on his face. “If you think your worthless ass is getting my kids five days a week, then you’ve got another thing coming!”

“Fine, if that’s how you’re gonna be, then I hope you’re ready to go to court!” scoffed Darren as Bucky stared longingly at the chicken drumstick in his hand, which really wasn’t the important part of this conversation. “And you’d better have a damn good lawyer because there’s no sane judge in the world that would side with you!”

“Oh yeah? Well, we’ll see what that judge has to say about those ‘lady-friends’ you keep seeing after work!” screamed Sarah as an uncouth string of saliva fell from Bucky’s mouth. “You’d be lucky if the judge trusted you to take care of the dog!”

At press time, the family cat was skillfully waiting out the drama by destroying the curtains in the living room.

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