According to a study published in the Journal Of Applied Behavior Analysis, Americans spend an average of five hours per day asking for treats.
The five-year study conducted by the Pew Research Center concluded that Americans of all ages often found themselves so hungry for goodies that they begged for them as often as 20 times per day.
Today at 8:00 a.m. “just about everything” below the equator fell down into space. According to officials, the most probable cause of the extra-atmospheric landslide is the upside-down nature of the Southern Hemisphere. All physical beings and settlements on Antarctica, Australia, nine-tenths of South America, the southern third of Africa, the South Atlantic Ocean, Indian Ocean, South Pacific Ocean and most of Oceania are floating around in the vacuous space just outside the earth’s atmosphere.
The Corporation today is set to approve University President Christina Paxson’s long-term strategic plan for Brown, which consists solely of the word “trajectory” printed 3,547 times.
The plan now stands for approval by the Corporation, the University’s leading authority on the word “trajectory.” If approved this month, the first 200 uses of the word “trajectory” are expected to go into effect by the end of this year.
Providence Police Officer Lance Hendricks yesterday told reporters he has become unable to connect with others in any way other than through searching them for contraband.
“It’s funny, really,” said Hendricks. “I know a lot of people really enjoy everyday interaction: conversation, social networking and the like.
Members of the Brown Scrabble Club confirmed that club president Meghan Kerns ’15 was making a clear jab at members of the group who had missed Wednesday’s meeting in her email sign-off.
Kerns’s sign-off, which referenced an inside joke that must have been created at the meeting, was completely incomprehensible to students who were not there to witness its inception.