At a press conference last Wednesday, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy announced that it’s weird how often little kids throw up. This conclusion follows a nationwide observational study conducted by the Department of Health.
“It’s particularly odd that nearly any activity can make little kids throw up,” said Dr.
Upon looking over recent updates to his model’s election prediction, statistician and blogger Nate Silver spit out his coffee and violently flung his laptop into the air.
“Well, I guess all bets are off!” his staff reported hearing immediately before witnessing the brand-new MacBook begin traveling in a parabolic trajectory.
A new anthropological study conducted by Harvard University reveals that at least one of the animals on Noah’s Ark was gay.
Professor M. Magdalene, head of the research study, says she’s unsurprised by the results. “I had a feeling this would be the case,” she said.
In a groundbreaking new study published this week, scientists at Cornell University concluded that men and women who sleep with scientists can expect their lifespans to increase by upwards of 200 percent.
“We’ve discovered that people who have sex with scientists can live to around 270 years of age,” explains Edgar Kline, head of the Cornell research team, adding that his studies indicated that that number may rise even higher for hot people.
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