Sunday, December 17, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Brown Noser Staff

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Clementine Trash's Holiday Tips | Dec 01 2017

You’re going to be invited to a lot of holiday parties. Never go over someone’s house empty handed. And never leave empty handed, either. Scan the house, identify what you think they wouldn’t notice is missing, and then take your pick! Try not to do your shopping too last minute.

Classifieds | Nov 03 2017

Selling: Half a ham sandwich from lunch yesterday. Has been refrigerated. Can add mayo for extra. $3 Seeking: Someone to lock my front door. I left it open this morning. Please call 555-314-7903. TUTOR: Will tutor for adding, subtracting, sports, gardening, gym, and extra curriculars.

This Day In History: September 15th | Sep 15 2017

520,000,000 BCE: The eye was proving to be a pretty sick adaptation 450: Atilla the Hun killed everyone in Europe 700 The Vikings pillaged Scandinavia for its valuable snow 1222: The plague killed everyone in Europe 1791: Mozart wrote his last opera but it was total shit 1903: The Wright Brothers conquered their fear of heights 1918: The Influenza Pandemic killed everyone in Europe 1922– Music wasn’t boring anymore.