The Brown Noser

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Senior Superlatives | Apr 09 2021

We here at the Noser have this tradition called “Senior Superlatives.” We invented it and the basic idea is that we make categories that you can nominate your friends for. Fill it out! - Most Swag - Most Likely to Wake Up And It Was All A Dream - Grubbiest Little Hands - America’s Funniest Home Video - Most Distasteful Goon - Always Tending To The Gardenias - Master Of The Forge - Most Likely To Tell Me The Story I Like, You Know The One - Best Ill-Fated Couple Of LA Dreamers - Headed Straight To Kansas City - Most Structurally Compromised Load-Bearing Walls - ...okay? - Most Legs - Most Likely To Meet Their Demise One Foggy Morning At The Hoover Dam - Worst Brown/RISD Weekly.

From The Archives: This Day In History | Mar 12 2021

Senior Superlatives | Apr 24 2020

We here at the Noser have this tradition called “Senior Superlatives.” We invented it and the basic idea is that we make categories that you can nominate your friends for. Fill it out! - Most Fatally Flawed - Most Tricks Up Their Sleeve - Tiniest Kisses - Most Likely To Have To Watch His Back Around These Parts - Most Famous Parents - A Fuckin’ Champ - Hottest Year On Record - Least Bad Billionaire - Dipshit - Silliest Goose - Most Wanted By Shelbyville Police - Canceled - Cutest Coupla Dudes - Biggest Sword - Nastiest Grooves.

Clementine Trash's Holiday Tips | Dec 01 2017

You’re going to be invited to a lot of holiday parties. Never go over someone’s house empty handed. And never leave empty handed, either. Scan the house, identify what you think they wouldn’t notice is missing, and then take your pick! Try not to do your shopping too last minute.

Classifieds | Nov 03 2017

Selling: Half a ham sandwich from lunch yesterday. Has been refrigerated. Can add mayo for extra. $3 Seeking: Someone to lock my front door. I left it open this morning. Please call 555-314-7903. TUTOR: Will tutor for adding, subtracting, sports, gardening, gym, and extra curriculars.

This Day In History: September 15th | Sep 15 2017

520,000,000 BCE: The eye was proving to be a pretty sick adaptation 450: Atilla the Hun killed everyone in Europe 700 The Vikings pillaged Scandinavia for its valuable snow 1222: The plague killed everyone in Europe 1791: Mozart wrote his last opera but it was total shit 1903: The Wright Brothers conquered their fear of heights 1918: The Influenza Pandemic killed everyone in Europe 1922– Music wasn’t boring anymore.