Saturday, April 4, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Clementine Trash

Writer

Clementine's articles

Madame Clementine's Horoscopes | Mar 06 2020

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 21): You’re feeling confident and energetic today. Help out a friend. Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): Your energy has been imbued with generosity recently. Be sure to help out when your friends are in need! Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): When you get stuck in a rut, your soul shrivels.

Clementine Trash's Holiday Tips | Dec 01 2017

You’re going to be invited to a lot of holiday parties. Never go over someone’s house empty handed. And never leave empty handed, either. Scan the house, identify what you think they wouldn’t notice is missing, and then take your pick! Try not to do your shopping too last minute.

Madame Clementine's Horoscopes | Nov 03 2017

Aires: Don’t be thrown off your course, Aires. I’ve been busy, so I don’t know exactly what is going to happen to you this week, but trust the forces of the universe and good things might happen in your love life. Taurus: Your stars are complicated right now, Taurus, and I didn’t have as much time as I thought I would to figure them out.

Madame Clementine's Horoscopes | Sep 15 2017

Virgo: Your hard work and concentrated effort will come to a head soon, Virgo. Take some time to breathe and pay attention to the new faces in your life. You never know, one of them may be Seinfeld star Jason Alexander. Libra: Don’t let your fixation on your career isolate you from others, Libra.