Isha's articles
Sources reported on Saturday that Cards Against Humanity player Rick Espinoza ’18 used “Rush Limbaugh’s Soft, Shitty Body” immediately after receiving it.
“It was funny the first time he played that card, like a year ago," said Kristen Park ‘17, adding that she can’t remember the card being played by anyone else.
Frightening his peers at Boris J. Mudd Middle School, bully Tommy Kline has acquired a thesaurus sources reported Wednesday.
“I thought it was bad before, but that was nothing,” said student Anjana Trivedi, clutching her books to her chest as her eyes darted nervously back and forth down the corridor.
According to a report released by researchers at the University of New Hampshire last week, an increasing number of women aged 35 to 48 have been using Match.com, a popular dating website, to find partners in crime.
Sources report that these women’s profiles are filled with lists of their favorite movies, names of their pets, and requests for accessories in what are suspected to be attempted violent crimes.
Following the discovery that her roommate had been using her toothbrush, enraged freshman Nicole Chen was still too nervous to violate her room condition report by breaking anything in her dorm room.
“It was insane,” reports second-floor resident Kenneth Mitchell, who witnessed the incident on his way to the kitchen.
After beginning what seemed like a dull but tolerable lecture on the dangers of alcoholism, South Dakota mother Barbara Shaw reportedly launched, without warning, into an unsolicited history of her own past drug use. Eyewitnesses report that the exchange was triggered by her daughter’s mentioning of “a party going on somewhere.”
“It came out of nowhere,” reports daughter Jessica Shaw, barely able to suppress a shudder.
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