Kevin's articles
After yet another sad attempt at banter, Dave Elgers '12 was finally voted into exile by the Third Floor High Council of Chapin this past Thursday. While his arrival at any gathering or Glee party had long produced strained hellos and silent exchanges of dismay, the group reached its breaking point during a lounge study session when he declared that Karen should break up with her high school boyfriend.
Prospect & Meeting recently revealed that the magic behind its dating service was not a highly sophisticated digital e-mail cross-reference love detector (as was popularly believed) but rather the female students of Mrs. Riccobono's fourth-grade classroom at Woonsocket Elementary.
After several weeks of being ignored, put off, and slighted by Joshua Worthington '12, his political science paper finally decided to write itself last Thursday. According to the paper, this was fitting punishment for Worthington's disrespect over the course of their fraught relationship.
In a bold move that shocked friends and family alike, Anthony Morano '11 is going off meal plan.
"For the sake of my health, my finances, my fellow peers, and my bowels, I will no longer be eating at the Ratty second semester," announced the sophomore to a half-full table behind the omelet bar.
Most Brown students believe that living in Perkins must be hell. "It's so far.like, five blocks. Do you know how far that is? You can't even see it from the SciLi!" said one student. To quote Nick Mark '10, "Substance free? At that distance? If I lived that far, I'd need to be drunk all the time just to deal with the pain.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
