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The Brown Noser

Phil Kaye

Writer (Retired)

Phil's articles

EA Games to Release Ruth Simmons Video Game, Entitled "The Simm" | Mar 08 2007

Video game retailers around the country are gearing up for monumental crowds, as virtual entertainment powerhouse EA Games prepares for the release its most anticipated game to date. This Friday marks the launch of the much-awaited sequel to the popular video game series <i>The Sims</i>. The famous green crystal will now be upon Brown University President Ruth Simmons.

Simmons Changes Facebook Status to "It's Complicated" | Feb 06 2007

In what some call "the News Feed heard 'round the world," University President Ruth Simmons has crushed the dreams of hopefuls across the country and announced her "complication."

Hourglass Café Breaks, Sand Everywhere | Feb 06 2007

January 25, 2007, started like any other day at Brown University. Students woke to their alarm clocks, shuffled to class, and went on going about their daily routine. But January 25, 2007, was not just like any other day. January 25, 2007, was a day of tragedy.

Ruth Simmons Gambles Away Seven Buildings in Jewelry District | Dec 01 2006

"Ruth Simmons, President of Brown University, reportedly lost millions of dollars worth of real estate last weekend in what has been criticized by some as an overzealous move in the ""Boldly Brown"" Campaign. Simmons, commonly referred to as ""Slick Hand Simms"", lost the properties in an ""all-in"" hand of rock-paper-scissors to former Harvard President Larry Summers."

Spiritus Tops Fortune 500 List | Dec 01 2006

Spiritus Fermenti Inc., a Providence based distributor of wine and spirits, tops this year's Fortune 500 list. Many economists have cited Spiritus Fermenti Inc., referred to simply as "Spiritus" by local constituents, as the ideal business model.