Friday, November 24, 2017
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The Brown Noser

95% of Movie Theaters 'Too Chilly’, According to Mothers

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

According to a survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, 95% of movie theaters are classified as “too chilly” by nation’s mothers.

“I wish they would just turn down that A/C a few notches,” reported local mother Janice Perkins. “How’s anyone supposed to sit in this cold for three hours? My family spends so much on these dang tickets you’d think that they’d at least make us comfortable. Eighty degrees isn’t too much to ask for. Wow, it’s so cold I’ve got goosebumps."

Researchers report that Perkins’ response is indicative of larger trends in the data: from the 8,000 interviews conducted with mothers across the nation, only three percent of respondents classified theaters as “just about right” while the remaining two percent responded their local theater was “like a sauna in there.”

Local reports at the movie theater added that every mother walking into the 3:30 matinee had pulled a blanket and a sweater out of their bag in preparation for their film.

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