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At a press conference Tuesday morning, action figure Pyro Joe announced that he would begin bath time by waging naval warfare, then proceed to dangle off a cliff and finally end up clogging the drain with his plastic head.
“These orders come to me straight from Skyler,” said Pyro Joe. “I don’t have any say in the matter, though I will reiterate for his detractors that Skyler has, in the past, executed similar bath time maneuvers to great effect.”
When questioned about the logistics of the strategy, Pyro Joe remained equivocal. “Skyler’s bath tactics are on the fly. He’s intuitive, improvisational, and sometimes gets soap in his eyes and cries for his mommy.”
He added, “What can I say? He’s a maverick.”
Despite some reporters’ skepticism about Skyler’s methods, Pyro Joe made evident his loyalty to the operation. “It’s an honor to serve under him, and I’ll do my best to clog that drain with my plastic head even if it warps my touch-activated voice feature.”
