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The Brown Noser

Admissions Office Keeps Forgetting To Let Someone In From North Dakota

Published Friday, October 29th, 2021

Slapping their foreheads in a moment of sudden remembrance, Brown’s admission officers realized that, once again, they forgot to let someone in from North Dakota.

“I knew we were forgetting something,” admissions officer Larry Suthers said, disappointed in himself for forgetting to let a North Dakotan into Brown for the tenth year running despite copious gCal reminders and sticky notes around his house reading “ADMIT NORTH DAKOTAN.” “It’s just so hard to remember. Even the Montana kids don’t slip through the cracks like this.”

“I thought we were good last year but then our North Dakota admit went to Duke and we completely spaced out about pulling one off the waitlist,” Suthers continued, using a Sharpie to scrawl a reminder on his palm to set a few North Dakota ED apps to the side next week. “All other 49 states are represented at Brown. We’re even generally good at throwing a South Dakotan in. But there’s just something about North Dakota that’s so dang hard to remember!”

At press time, the Admissions Office also forgot to let someone in who wasn’t in the one percent.

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