Friday, November 24, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Angry Commuter Derides Potholes And Roadwork In Same Trip

Published Friday, November 3rd, 2017

Jolting the steering wheel aggressively, impatient driver Rob Buckley loudly protested both the poor condition of the roads and the workers fixing the roads during his morning commute on Tuesday.

“I’m gonna blow out a tire on this damn road!” Buckley shouted in a sudden burst of anger, adding that he wouldn’t hesitate to sue the Rhode Island Department of Transportation for any damage to his heavily used 2003 Subaru Outback. “When the hell are those DOT bastards gonna come out here and fix these potholes? And it looks like ahead of us we’re down to a single lane. These damn construction crews have perfect timing.”

“They’re repaving for miles so this damn traffic is gonna go on forever!" Buckley yelled, oblivious to the fact that the workers were actively solving the first problem that drew his ire. “These assholes are gonna make me late for work! These workers should get out of my damn way and go fix the potholes down the road!”

Still seething with deeply misguided rage when he arrived at work a mere four minutes late, Buckley spent the first two and a half hours of his day drafting a strongly worded email to RIDOT paradoxically demanding that they come pave the roads and stop blocking up traffic with road work.

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