Tuesday, November 13, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Area Man Plunged Into Primal, All-Consuming Panic After Headphone Cable Gets Stuck On Door Handle

Published Friday, September 14th, 2018

Sources report area man Burt Crumb was plunged into a primal, all-consuming panic after his headphone cable got caught on a door handle Friday afternoon. “When I felt the headphones yank out of my ears, my mind went completely blank,” Crumb said, recalling how all his muscles tensed and his adrenaline soared when he had to double back and disentangle his headphones. “My only thought process was getting those earbuds untangled by any means necessary. I was just operating on instincts at that point.” Crumb stated that after plugging his headphones back in, he recovered fully and had a normal day at work.

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