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The Brown Noser

Area Man Records Funny Voicemail No One Will Ever Hear

Published Friday, September 14th, 2018

After hours of brainstorming and countless redos, area man Tom Fulton finally recorded the perfect joke voicemail that no other person will ever bother listening to.

“So I start by talking as if I answered the phone, like: ‘Hello? It’s Tom, is anyone there?’” Fulton eagerly explained, unaware that no one would ever stay on the line long enough to hear the voicemail he spent his entire Sunday crafting. “But that’s the joke — it’s just a message! Whoever is calling will be talking to no one,” Fulton added, failing to recognize that he was actually talking to no one since his message would never be played back by anyone under any circumstances.

“After a few seconds of silence, I say, ‘Gotcha! Sorry I missed your call. Leave your message after the beep,’” he continued, oblivious to the fact that no other human being would ever leave him a voice message for any reason whatsoever. “But it isn’t even over yet. After I’m done talking, you hear a beep and start leaving your message — but the beep is still part of my voicemail! It’s like a double whammy joke!”

Sources report that when a single caller finally listened to Fulton’s voicemail, they didn’t fall for it.

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