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The Brown Noser

Raytheon Whistleblower Dies Of Self-Inflicted Drone Strike

Published Friday, May 3rd, 2024

A former Raytheon employee known for raising concerns about the ethicality of the firm’s business has been found dead from a self-inflicted drone strike.

“Tragically, it appears John Greenberg decided to take his own life with a precision-guided strike,” said Carl Chase, lead investigator on the case. “We do not suspect foul play.”

Reports indicate that Greenberg was walking near a local lake when he ordered an MQ-9 Reaper drone to fire a laser-guided missile to his exact position, killing him instantly.

“We’re deeply saddened to hear about John’s passing,” said a spokesperson for Raytheon. “He was a valued employee, even if he didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.”

In the days before his death, Greenberg had been giving evidence in a whistleblower lawsuit against the company. This marks the fifth time a former Raytheon employee has chosen to take their own life using military-grade technology.

At press time, a Boeing whistleblower died after pushing himself into a jet engine.

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