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The Brown Noser

Area Man Spills Water On, Breaks His Electric Car

Published Friday, April 29th, 2016

In a moment of carelessness, area man Mason Daniels reportedly spilled a glass of water on his brand new Tesla Model S, destroying it.

“Shit,” said Daniels, frantically trying to wipe the water off his $70,000 vehicle. “I just got this thing. I know you’re not supposed to get water near it, but I didn’t think a little spill would mess it up this bad. C’mon! The car won’t even start now.”

Immediately upon making contact with water, the automobile started sparking and the GPS screen went black. Smoke started pouring out from the tailpipe as Daniels cursed in frustration. Daniels reported that the doors wouldn’t even open due to a short circuit.

“Maybe this rice will work,” said Daniels, pouring nearly a ton of rice on his car in a last-ditch attempt to save it. “It’s probably futile. These things are so goddamn fragile.”

Sources report Daniels was last seen calling his local dealership to see if he could get a replacement car.

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