Partly Cloudy, 64°
Walking to his dorm after dinner, astrophysics concentrator Zachary Erving announced that he maybe just found the Big Dipper!
“Wait, like, right there, I think that’s maybe it!” said Erving, an aspiring NASA aerospace engineer. “I’m, like, 87 percent sure. Maybe 88. OMG that’s so crazy I feel like I’m always with people who can find it but I never actually can find it by myself. Like, go me.”
“Wait, I actually feel so good right now, that’s like, cool as hell,” continued Erving, who recently worked in a lab researching magnetohydrodynamics. “You have to look a little to the left of that tree. Follow where I’m pointing. No, not there. Just, like, follow where I’m pointing, and there’s the Big Dipper, I think. Literally, that’s actually so awesome, haha what the fuck.”
At press time, chemistry concentrator Addy Wheelhouse announced that if you put mentos in Coke, it could totally explode.
