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The Brown Noser

BDH Begs Brown Community To Stop Sending So Much Fan Mail

Published Friday, March 6th, 2020

Citing a continuous and overwhelming deluge of positive feedback in both their physical and online inboxes, the Brown Daily Herald has pleaded for the Brown community to stop sending so much fan mail.

“We adore and appreciate our fans so much,” said Editor-in-Chief Brango Hughley ’20 at a packed press conference held in Salomon auditorium Tuesday evening. “But the fact is, the volume of your messages of adoration, admiration, and gratitude have begun to slow down our publication process. We’re simply receiving far too much fan mail to do the important journalistic work that is the lifeblood of Brown’s campus culture and dialogue.”

“Although we couldn’t be more grateful for the abundance of letters, handmade art, baked goods, and trinkets we receive daily,” Hughley continued, “the fact is that you’re sending so much positive feedback our way that our office can barely function. Whether it’s the copious amounts of mail or mobs of adoring fans stopping Herald reporters on the streets, Brown almost loves us too much. We still love all of you, but we need a little space!”

At press time, Herald representatives noted they would also have to temporarily stop accepting new writer applications due to a flood of interest.

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