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The Brown Noser

Bagel Gourmet Order Just Brown Bag Filled With Napkins

Published Friday, October 30th, 2020

Bagel Gourmet customer Emma Jacob’s recent order was just a brown bag filled with napkins, sources report.

“I ordered a plain bagel with cream cheese,” said Jacobs, napkins spilling out the top of the bag that was supposed to contain her order. “But instead of a bagel, the bag was just stuffed to the brim with napkins.”

“At first I thought my bagel might be at the bottom,“ continued Jacobs, fists filled with gobs of thin paper napkins. “But after some digging, I found that it was only filled with napkins“

“One or two napkins would be nice, but do I need a full bag of them?“ asked Jacobs, feeling slightly guilty about throwing all the napkins away. “I barely get food on my face when I eat anyways. And they didn’t even give me food, just napkins — but I guess they might come in handy someday?“

At press time, Bagel Gourmet coffee was just water with brown food coloring.

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