Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources from your new barbershop indicate that the barber is going to take one look at your hair and question your previous barber’s skill, training, equipment, diligence, rigor, honor, and integrity.
“Son, you didn’t get your hair cut in these parts the last time around, did you? I’ve been in this business since before you were born, and this is the most atrocious cut I’ve ever had the displeasure of encountering,” declared veteran barber Joseph Doyle as he hacked off as much hair as he could get his hands on. “Which incompetent fool did you allow near these beautiful locks? You’re such a handsome fellow, too. Has he no shame?”
“Wow, he really didn’t think to use feathering here? Probably never even laid his greasy hands on a quality pair of wide-tooth thinning shears,” predicted Doyle, astounded, as he expertly placed clumps of hair between his fingers and cut above them. “Yeah, no, I’m sure he’s a respectable professional. Just out of curiosity, did you do something to make him hate you?”
“I just doubt that he’s a God-fearing family man, you know? You can see it in his cut. This is why I became a barber. This is everything I stand against,” declared Doyle with tears pooling up in his eyes. "You stick with a line of work for so long, and you think you’ve seen it all. But sometimes, you see a cut that just makes you take a step back and think things over. What kind of cruel, twisted psychopath would do something like this?”
At press time, your haircut was looking pretty much the same but slightly shorter.
