Partly Cloudy, 64°
Making loud, arrhythmic noises with his mouth into a microphone, 21-year-old beat boxer Juan Robles is very, very bad, sources confirm. “Beat boxing sounds good sometimes, but when Juan does it, it sounds really bad!” said concertgoer Mickey Piddman, citing Robles’ inability to hold a steady bass line or complement the melody with inspired syncopation. “He should sound like a drum, but instead he’s just spitting all over the mic and saying ‘boom-chicka-ahh.’ It sounds just awful. He is the worst. This is the worst.” At press time, Robles had added an off-key hum to his very bad beat boxing.
