Tuesday, November 24, 2020
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The Brown Noser

Blinding Rays Of Light Emanate From Joe Biden's Mortal Frame As He Wages Final Battle For Soul Of Nation

Published Friday, October 30th, 2020

While preparing to strike the final blow in the battle for the soul of the nation, Joe Biden’s mortal frame has reportedly begun emanating blinding rays of light in every direction.

“The nation’s soul is on the ballot,” the Democratic presidential candidate bellowed as pure energy and strong gusts of wind encircled his entire body, lifting him into the air. “When I’m president, I will fight to restore the soul of this country!”

As the 2020 election — and the ultimate clash between all that is good and evil in America — has drawn closer, the former Vice President has grown only more powerful and shined ever brighter, according to sources close to the Biden campaign.

“The forces of darkness and division are tearing us apart,” the Democrats’ standard bearer thundered, his voice booming across the land as his eyes glowed a pure white light and his aura began projecting outward from his convulsing human form. “We must embrace the light, not the darkness, and free ourselves from the burdens of injustice and fear!”

While Biden has amassed ever more power, a hellish red haze has begun radiating from within the White House.

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