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The Brown Noser

Book So Thick It Basically Cube

Published Friday, November 1st, 2024

Sources from the Fox Point Library this week report that a book is so thick that it’s pretty much a cube.

“I was so intrigued by the title and cute design on the spine,” said prospective reader Sammie Webb, struggling to keep their grip on the essentially cube-shaped book. “Then I pulled it off the shelf only to be shocked speechless by how incredibly thick it is.”

“Guess how many pages it is. 600? Higher. 950? Even higher. It’s 1348 entire pages long,” continued Webb, cracking open the book which was approximately 7 inches wide, 8 inches tall, and 6.5 inches thick. “I can’t even begin to imagine how I’m supposed to fit this into a backpack or tote bag, let alone hold it up as I read. I’m gonna look like a total idiot carrying around this almost cube-shaped book, that’s all I know.”

At press time, a slim novella was basically invisible from the side.

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