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Reports from Cape Canaveral indicated that NASA has released 36,000 trout into outer space.
“Yeah, and why the hell not?” said Stanley Garland, Chief Engineer of the mission. “We were basically just sitting around, brainstorming some ideas, and then we decided to send a lot of fish to space. Fuck it, we’re NASA.”
“I guess?” said Garland when asked if there was a scientific reason for the mission. “Obviously, we’re going to learn a lot of information about what the environment of outer space does to the bodies of 36,000 live trout. If that’s not innovation, I don’t know what is.”
In a press conference about the matter, Garland also made clear that anyone questioning this use of taxpayer funding could “suck [his] dick.”
“To be honest, we were sort of throwing ideas at the wall to see what stuck,” said Garland, leaning back in his office chair. “Our last rocket exploded nine seconds into launch, and we had all this extra funding, so we bought 36,000 trout and sent them to the exosphere.”
At press time, the mischievous Air Force was testing a big paper airplane.
