Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sources from the playground report that a local boy with a soccer ball in his shirt has announced his pregnancy.
“Look, everyone! I’m pregnant,” said Tommy L. of Ms. Stahl’s second grade class. “Hahaha look, I’m going to have a baby!”
“There is no way Tommy is pregnant,” said Sally M., his desk neighbor, who was starting to wonder who the baby’s other parent could be. “But I don’t know, I guess maybe he could be. His belly is really big.”
“Wooooo!” said Tommy L., patting his enlarged stomach like a bongo drum. “It’s funny because I’m a boy, and I am going to have a baby!”
At approximately 4:08pm, Tommy delivered a beautiful, healthy, and regulation-size soccer ball.
