Partly Cloudy, 64°
Authorities and village persons have called into question a local boy’s cries of “wolf” after considering the boy’s somewhat dubious wolf-crying track record.
“According to shepherd testimony, on two previous occasions, said boy issued fallacious cries of ‘wolf’ in an effort to publicly humiliate local shepherds,” remarked Chief Investigator and village blacksmith Michael Cunningham at a press conference held Thursday evening.
“Although he now insists that his current cries are founded on a veritable wolf-sighting,” continued Cunningham, “given his record, the boy has left us with no other option than to disbelieve his current cries of ‘wolf.’”
He added, “God help us all.”
When asked by local shepherds if there were perhaps a way someone else could go look and see if a wolf were heading towards the village, Cunningham explained that this was impossible.
“Unfortunately, due to village-wide budget cuts, we lack the infrastructure to conduct that kind of field work," he said. "Essentially, this boy was our only wolf-crying agent in the field, and has now, in light of certain blemishes on his record, been compromised.”
“Let’s just hope our lives aren’t reduced to a moralistic folk-tale about lying and the rule of threes," remarked Cunningham. "That would be a shitty way for this to pan out. Especially for the sheep.”
