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The Brown Noser

Brewery Definitely Gonna Give This Next IPA A Super Wacky Name

Published Friday, April 24th, 2020

According to recent reports, local brewery Rooster Brewers is definitely gonna give this next IPA a super wacky name.

“I’ve got tons of silly name ideas for this new IPA,” said head brewer Ron Aldo, scanning a page of word association he did to brainstorm. “Right now, I’m either leaning toward ‘Yamma-Llama Ding Dong’ or ’Hopscotch n’ Hooper.’ Either way, I know it’ll catch the attention of our customers.”

Aldo expressed excitement about several upcoming IPAs with kooky names. “Our Nautical Nonsense line of beers is gonna be a huge hit, with names like ‘Miss Mango Mermaid’ and ‘Whale Pale Ale (Stop Fracking Shale),’" he said, filling out a Mad Libs to get in the riffing spirit. "I’m thinking we might introduce some soup-related names too. For our coconut milk stout, I might go with ’Chump Chowder’ or ‘Mulligatawny Madness.’ Alliterations are they key to success in the beer naming business, don’t forget it!”

“Oh yeah, we’ve got some really crazy IPA names coming down the pipeline," Aldo continued, pulling up a random word generator for some inspiration. “I’m working on a new lemon-infused IPA called ‘Come on Down to Tang Town’. But honestly, why should we even be confined by real words? I think our next beer might just be called ‘∑√¶zzπ’. Let’s see customers try to pronounce that!”

At press time, the brewery decided its new bottle design should totally have a shiny rainbow unicorn on it.

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