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The Brown Noser

Brown Dems Spending Final Days Before Election Knocking Doors In Key Battleground Dorms

Published Friday, October 30th, 2020

In their final push to get out the vote, the Brown Democrats have spent their last few days before the 2020 election knocking doors in key battleground dorms.

“With so little time left before the most important election of our lives, we’re trying to devote our attention where it’s needed most,” said Brown Dems President Dana Li Ten while working to win over swing voters on the Main Green. “It’s looking like Keeney and New Dorm could decide this election, so we’re doing our best to convince as many students as we can to vote blue in those places.”

Li Ten praised the tens of dedicated Brown Dems volunteers who have mobilized to execute the group’s 15-dorm strategy, the largest get-out-the-vote effort in the University’s history.

“This is our only chance to defeat Trump and the Republicans, and we can’t waste it,” Li Ten emphasized, approaching another group of Brown University students to ask if they’d decided who to vote for yet. “If you don’t want to see the election returns coming in for Caswell and Andrews and wish you’d done more to help elect Democrats up and down the ballot, you should come help us make calls and texts to our classmates. We’re working day and night to turn out Democratic voters from George Street to Waterman Street and everywhere in between.”

In an effort to conserve resources as the election fast approaches, the Brown Dems have reportedly abandoned their turnout efforts in the Republican stronghold of Wriston Quad.

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