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The Brown Noser

Brown Dining Services Sustainability Initiative Recommends Students Go Eat Somewhere Else

Published Friday, February 16th, 2024

Brown Dining Services recently recommended that students go eat somewhere else as a part of their sustainability initiative.

“Just by switching over to reusable takeout containers, we’ve managed to save an astounding 203 pounds of waste,” said BDS representative Caroline Stevens, sitting in front of her twelve sustainable Stanleys. “We estimate that by having students eating somewhere else, we’d manage to save over 1500 pounds of waste.”

“We’re also recommending that students reduce their red meat consumption to lessen their carbon footprint,” Stevens continued, chowing down on a 15 oz steak. “One of our calculations suggests that by having students only eat their red meats off-campus, we could reduce our on-campus red meat consumption by 100%.”

At press time, Brown Library Services suggested throwing out all of their books to save the trees.

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