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Unable to shake their giddy smiles, the Brown Facilities Management recently announced plans to replace broken laundry machines with washboards and clotheslines.
“We believe that this is the perfect initiative to work toward a greener and more environmentally conscious community,” wrote Director of Facilities Management Joseph Belford in an email to the Brown community, adding that the changes include students traipsing down to the Providence River with a metal pail for water and a rag that used to be part of grandma’s apron. “Additionally, this change will allow us to double the amount of laundry facilities students can utilize at a time, and it will also teach students practical skills, like beating their shirts and pants with big rocks to remove stains.”
“We’re especially excited to install the clotheslines, which can hold an entire dorm’s worth of hoodies,” continued Belford, pressing down on the pedal of his wooden spinning wheel to weave the clothesline faster. “Of course, should a student need to report other facilities issues, our line is active 24/7."
At press time, ResLife was reportedly replacing the dispenser soap with lye.
