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The Brown Noser

Brown Football Team Doing It Ironically

Published Friday, December 8th, 2023

In a shocking revelation out of the OMAC this past Wednesday, members of the Brown football team revealed that they are doing the whole thing ironically.

“It’s actually such a good bit that me and the boys came up with one night over some claws,” said quarterback Corm Johnson as he ironically started his hour long full-body warm-up. “We just love to subvert expectations and push the boundaries of comedy on campus,” he continued as he and the boys sarcastically drew up plays.

“And sure, yeah, we do practice five days a week and go to games and give them all maximum effort, but that’s just part of the bit, you know? That’s what makes it funny,” he explained as a salaried athletic trainer wrapped his sprained ankle in gauze so that he could get back out there as a total prank. “I think that the funniest part is when people actually show up to the games. Like are you serious guys? We’re obviously joking! Me and the boys have such a good laugh in the locker room when that happens,” Johnson told reporters as he lifted weights for two hours straight.

At press time, the Brown Quidditch team was doing it with complete and utter sincerity.

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