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Brown Formula Racing has recently announced their groundbreaking plans to make a shitty car just like last year’s shitty car.
“We’re hoping to accomplish a lot this year,” shared Brown Formula Racing President Jeremy Nichols as if the team won’t be building the same barely functional vehicle as they have in every prior year. “Our engine crew is working particularly hard on a new engine design that’ll totally revolutionize the propulsion of our car.”
“And don’t even get me started on the aerodynamics of our new chassis design,” continued Nichols, watching a group of freshmen currently failing ENGN 32 weld together a few pieces of metal that maybe will safely carry a human. “Simply unheard of. Brown Formula Racing is really gonna outdo itself this year.”
“Yeah, you should totally come see us compete in Michigan! We’re crossing our fingers for the big win,” Nichols added, dreaming of the day he will sit in the unfinished interior of the shitty car and drive at one or two miles an hour across a parking lot alongside several other student-made cars. “All I’m saying is, this car design is gonna be one for the history books.”
At press time, an a capella group was announcing its plans to sing the same annoying repertoire as last year’s annoying repertoire.
