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Sources at Brown University confirmed that the Junior Class Coordinating Board is holding an adorable little event in Alumnae Auditorium, where students donate their plasma and then don’t ask any more questions.
“It’s honestly the sweetest idea,” said Maria Delosi, as a CCB member cloaked in black robes bandaged her arm after the procedure. “It’s little things like this that make the class feel like a community.”
“With a class as diverse as ours, it’s awesome that CCB made an event that we can all get behind,” continued Delosi as she helped herself to some complimentary lamb’s blood and Dunkaroos. “I just think it’s gonna be tough to top this in the future!”
“I’d like to ask what inspired the event, but they were very insistent that we refrain from questions,” conceded Delosi as she signed a waiver written in ancient Sumerian that probably didn’t say anything important. “When someone asked where the bathroom was, they branded the CCB logo onto his forehead.”
At press time, CCB announced plans for their next event, where you gather in Sayles basement and stare wordlessly into a candlelit mirror for several hours straight and never tell a soul.
