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The Brown Noser

CDC Announces Vaccinated People Can Safely Throw Medium-Sized Get Togethers As Long As They Don’t Invite That Bitch Samantha

Published Friday, April 9th, 2021

Releasing a new set of recommendations for the vaccinated population, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced Wednesday that vaccinated people can safely throw medium-sized get togethers as long as they don’t invite that fake bitch Samantha. “Vaccinated people can safely gather indoors with each other in groups of up to 20, as long as no one tells that two-faced skank Samantha about it,” the statement said, noting that even if Samantha is vaccinated, she will still fuck up the whole vibe of the gathering. “After what she did at Amber’s 21st, our safety guidelines have been modified to keep vaccinated people safe and out of reach of Samantha’s bitchy behavior.” At press time, the CDC released new guidelines for restaurants, warning that Samantha should not be allowed to dine indoors after the scene she made at Kayla’s Galentine’s Day brunch.

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