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The Brown Noser

Cheap Hand Sanitizer Sparking Warlike Memories Of Tequila Night

Published Friday, February 4th, 2022

According to clients of Dr. Randy Patel’s dental practice in East Providence, the cheap hand sanitizer on the receptionist’s desk is sparking warlike memories of tequila night. “Do you mind if I use a bit of that hand sanitizer? Thanks so mu—” said dental patient Lily Samuelson, her eyes widening and her voice dropping to complete silence as she smelled the cheap hand sanitizer and was transported back to that night, that tequila night. “That’s not enough salt, Brenda! Woo, girls! Pour me another! Let’s get craz— oh, my. I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” At press time, expensive, scented hand sanitizer at the dermatologist made people feel three days into a week-long luxury spa retreat.

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