Sources report that a local claustrophobic caterpillar is absolutely losing its shit inside its chrysalis. “Holy shit I’m trapped in a slimy cage made of my own skin! I can’t breathe!” screamed the caterpillar, flailing inside the chrysalis as its body transformed into iridescent blue wings and delicate legs. “Get me out! I’m being crushed! There’s no light! I think I just breathed the last of the available air! Oh God, someone please get me out of here! GET ME OUT!!” At press time, a mosquito with a fear of blood was feeling so malnourished.

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