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The Brown Noser

Clever Man Going To Put Mask On Statue

Published Friday, February 5th, 2021

Prepared to redefine the entire framework of comedy itself, clever man Mitchell Schwartz ‘22 fastened a surgical mask onto Brown’s Caesar Augustus statue this past Wednesday. “It’s pretty funny, because statues can’t get infected with COVID, much less transmit it to students and faculty, so it’s a really classic comedy set-up,” commented Schwartz after turning comedy on its head as a crowd gathered and erupted in laughter by the statue. “I sure am glad that I was the first person to think of doing this. I can’t wait for people to walk by and say, ‘Hah, these sure are unprecedented and unpredictable times, but at least someone out there still has a show-stopping sense of humor.’” At press time, Schwartz hilariously told the testing center employee that he’s kind of a pro at this now.

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