Partly Cloudy, 64°
Come on, local dog owner Randy Claremont has had a long day, and he could really use a game of fetch with his old pal Simon. Claremont, who assures Simon that he is a good dog who will get a treat if he comes to the park and just retrieves the ball a few times, just wants to have a fun time with his buddy. Come on, Claremont expected a little more enthusiasm from his best, furriest friend.
Claremont, who just broke up with his girlfriend and has been regretting it ever since, could use a few hours at the park with his loyal companion. Claremont is sure that Simon will be a good boy and help him out here. After all, Simon is a very good boy.
Though he can understand that his best buddy Simon is getting older and isn’t as playful as he used to be, Claremont is sure that this game of fetch is the only thing that will make him feel better. Seriously, if Simon would just get up and play with his owner like he used to, that would make Claremont’s day.
Claremont, who could never be angry with the best dog in the world, does feel a little let down. After all, when Claremont throws the ball and Simon doesn’t even try to go get it, Claremont can’t help but take it personally. Claremont knows that Simon knows how to play fetch, so it would be great if he could just go ahead and play it for five minutes.
Claremont does not want to spend another evening looking at Facebook pictures of his ex-girlfriend, and it is very important that Simon help him out with this by picking up the goddamned ball in his goddamned mouth and dropping it at his owner’s feet. Come on, would that be so hard?
