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Sources report that senior comparative literature concentrator Augustus Goldberg is still struggling to figure out the difference between this book and that other book.
“I just can’t seem to tell what the true difference between these two books is,” a visibly perplexed Goldberg stated. “I mean, right now, one is in my left hand, and the other is in my right. But if I switched them, that’s not really the difference between them, is it?”
“It’s a problem as old as the concentration itself,” said Professor Atticus Joyce. “I mean, even in all my years of comparing literature, I can only understand for certain the difference between 10, maybe 12 books—and I’ve compared a lot of books.”
“Thus far, I’ve analyzed every instance of the word ‘the,’ differences in font size, and number of chapters,” said Goldberg, running his hands over the pages of both books. “I think this one’s pages are texturally smoother than the other, but only by, like, one grain.”
“I mean, maybe there’s just no difference at all,” Goldberg said, still investigating the two books at hand. “Perhaps the true nature of literature is that the canon is all… one. Except, well, this one is red, and that one is blue. Also, this one has five more pages, I think.”
In related news, a senior pursuing the engaged scholarship certificate is concerned about graduating on time if they don’t secure a ring by spring.
