Reports from really close to the Atlantic ocean have indicated that a conch shell sounds eerily like the ocean while standing on the beach. “It almost sounds exactly like the ocean,” piped tourist Daria Sweeney with one ear shoved into a conch shell, the other ear facing the ocean just a few feet away. “Like, I can hear every wave crashing as if I was really there! Nature is so cool!” At press time, Sweeney was shocked that her friend’s cookie-scented perfume smelled just like the real thing while standing inside a bakery.

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