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The Brown Noser

Conversations Between Starving Lionesses In Savannah Thankfully Always Pass Bechdel Test

Published Friday, November 1st, 2024

According to a lion translator in the savannahs of Africa, conversations between starving lionesses luckily always pass the Bechdel test.

“We’ve applied the Bechdel test to these lionesses, and they’ve passed with flying colors,” explained senior-level lion conservationist Dave Watson, astounded by these feminist animals who need to kill a whole buffalo or equivalent to feed their sickly, emaciated cubs. “We’ve analyzed their conversations through a multitude of metrics, and the results are astounding. There is no doubt that these animals are definitely high-level, complex thinking individuals who have never pondered about men in their lives.”

“When they are on the hunt for food, there is not even one instance of discussion of a hot, prowling male,” continued Watson in awe of the remarkable intellectual breadth of lionesses who haven’t eaten or drank water since last Sunday and are suffering from the dry and arid temperatures of the unforgiving terrain. “Their commitment to displaying themselves as feminist, well-rounded thinkers of the savannah is outstanding.”

At press time, the male lions were busy mansplaining how the watering hole works.

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