Saturday, March 15, 2025
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The Brown Noser

Cowboys Who Didn’t Specify Number Of Paces For Duel Now Walking Away From Each Other Indefinitely

Published Friday, March 14th, 2025

Reports from the frontier indicate that two cowboys who failed to specify a number of paces for their duel are now walking away from one another indefinitely.

“Well, come to think of it, that varmint never did say how far we ought to go,” said Virgil McClyde, who had been walking through the desert for the past 7 hours. “I wonder if it’s been far enough.”

“This town ain’t big enough for the two of us,” said Eli “Budd” Perry, who had made it all the way to a neighboring town and encountered a new cowboy. “Ready yer pistol.”

“We met at high noon, but now it’s gettin’ dark,” said McClyde, who was beginning to enjoy the austere beauty of the Sonoran desert at sunset. “I’m honestly kind of worried about being out here alone. I’m only 16 years old, so this whole cowboy duel business is pretty new to me.”

At press time, Perry and McClyde had walked so far that they’d re-encountered each other on the Earth’s opposite hemisphere.