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The Brown Noser

Curve Still Curvy, CDC Reports

Published Friday, April 24th, 2020

In a White House press conference Tuesday, CDC director Robert Redfield emphasized that despite the past month of extensive social distancing measures, the curve is still curvy.

“We’re seeing some progress, but it’s important to note that the curve still curves the way we don’t want it to curve,” Redfield said in the nationally televised briefing, stressing that all Americans should be prepared for the curve to stay curvy in the weeks to come. “We need everyone to do their part to curve the curve to be less of a curve.”

Redfield presented a number of curves during his address, some of which were far curvier than others.

“As you can see, we’re still headed toward a curvy curve on our current curve,” Redfield noted, pointing out that the true curve could be even curvier than the current curve lets on. “What we want to avoid is the curviest of all curves. If we can curve away from the curviest curve and toward a curve that’s less curvy, we may soon see the curve curve back down.”

Redfield concluded by warning that as long as the curve remains curvy, the country may face some very spiky spikes.

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