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The Brown Noser

Dad Could Totally Survive Off The Land

Published Tuesday, October 6th, 2015

Glancing around his backyard Saturday morning, local dad Al Felman has determined that he could totally survive off the land if it came down to it.

“Dig up some tubers to eat, yup,” Felman said, absent-mindedly hooking and unhooking the carabiner keychain from around his belt-loop. “Water? Yeah, I could get water from the trees or the ground.”

Confident in his ability to craft a sustainable lifestyle in the wilderness, Felman looked up at the treehouse he built for his daughter six years ago and mentally noted the steps it would take to construct an inhabitable shelter. At press time, Felman was rummaging through drawers trying to remember where he last left his Swiss Army knife.

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