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The Brown Noser

Dalai Lama Considering Spending Next Life Abroad

Published Friday, September 14th, 2018

Citing a desire to “get away from it all for a while,” the Dalai Lama told sources close to him that he has begun thinking seriously about going abroad for his next life.

“I’m really happy to be where I am with such a supportive network of monks,” said Tenzin Gyatso, the fourteenth Dalai Lama, “But I’m starting to grow a little bored with my surroundings in this life. I just feel like I want to start fresh somewhere else in the next one.”

Though he expressed concern about missing the people he’s known throughout this life, His Holiness is excited by the idea of reincarnating in a different country.

“My friends all went abroad in their last life and they rave about it,” the Dalai Lama said. “Plus, there’s getting to be too much stress in this toxic environment. It’s time for a change.”

“Spending a life in France would be amazing but I feel like everyone has spent a life there and I want to branch out more,” the Dalai Lama continued. "I think Spain would be a really fascinating place to spend a life for its distinctive culture. But, then again, Ireland’s got great beer.”

“I don’t know, I guess it all depends where my friends end up, too.”

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