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According to inside sources at the Department of Transportation, a mysteriously whimsical staffer with a handlebar mustache and fanciful purple suit keeps suggesting the government invest in blimps.
“He won’t stop talking about lighter-than-air travel,” said senior advisor Butch Morgan of the man known only by the name T.T. Whifflebiff. “None of us even have any idea how he got in here. He just appeared one day and offered us all a ride in his dirigible.”
Department sources have also confirmed that under normal circumstances a strange man like Whifflebiff would be removed from the premises, but it seems that everyone is taken by the eccentric man’s sing-songy tone of voice, shiny gold pocket fob, and the fact that his walking stick is a huge candy cane.
“I keep trying to tell T.T. Whifflebiff that we need to invest in roads and bridges, but he’s insistent that with the right amount of money, he can build a blimp big enough to take everyone to a floating city in the clouds,” continued Morgan, as Whifflebiff regaled the office with a little song about how dreams are more true than reality. “I want to say that he’s lying about the cloud city, but he also says he’s their mayor, and, to be honest, I’m inclined to believe him.”
At press time, a sinister man with a black goatee kept suggesting the Department of Energy invests in volcanos.
